10 Random Poker Quotes

• I used to go out, go dancing, and talk to the chicks. Now, my life has been down-sized to the couch, the laptop, and the occasional cranberry and rum. --The 5 card stud---
• Life is a gamble at terrible odds if it was a bet you would never take it
• "The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!" by flintsword
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• You can't let it get you down when somebody knocks you out of a tournament playing a hand they shouldn't have played. Without these types of players, nobody would win any amount of money, so sometimes you just have to take your medicine. - T.J. Cloutier, Championship Omaha