10 Random Poker Quotes

• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• Remember these three simple words and you'll never go broke........ "Stick em Up!"
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• Sign hanging in old time saloon: Liquor in the front, poker in the rear. -The old sage.
• Sometimes doing the right thing loses you money and the wrong thing gains you money. The trick is figuring the right time to do the wrong thing and the wrong time to do the right thing.