10 Random Poker Quotes

• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• You know that you've seen a lot of poker when three people are all in before the flop, two of them turn over aces and the other turns over kings, and the king hits on the river, and you say, "I've seen that before, and ...."
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Poker is for loners.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• This above all else: To thine own self be true. - William Shakespeare
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes