10 Random Poker Quotes

• This above all else: To thine own self be true. - William Shakespeare
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Someone on here said that "poker is for fat American losers". That sounds a lot like the ramblings of a foriegn homosexual who's busy scratching a broke ass.
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• "Oh give me a break, Ace-eight! I guess some people like getting their money in as a 3-to-1 underdog." -Phil Hellmuth, at the 2004 WSOP
• A great poker player knows when he is playing poorly.
• I used to go out, go dancing, and talk to the chicks. Now, my life has been down-sized to the couch, the laptop, and the occasional cranberry and rum. --The 5 card stud---
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs