10 Random Poker Quotes

• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• "You will show your poker greatness by the hands you fold, not the hands you play." -Dan Reed
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott, "Rounders"
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• Fold and live to fold again
• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• never rub another mans rhubarb, unless he has the nuts - Jack Nicholson