10 Random Poker Quotes

• "No river, no fish."
• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Normally, I wouldn't have called you, but you've been running bad!
• Sex is good, but poker lasts longer.
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• "All-in, bitches!!!"
• I don't want to be called a good loser. A good loser is still a loser. -Stu Unger
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.