10 Random Poker Quotes

• No Limit Hold'em - Hours of boredom followed by moments of sheer terror.
• The best thing about that hand was I wasn't in it
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• Trying to find the odds (not percentage) for this hand. One person has JJ the other 1010. On the flop is J 10 10, what are the odds of this happening?
• Liquor up front, poker in the rear
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• If you cant spot the fish in the first ten minutes, you are the fish.