10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• "I already messed this hand up pretty good, so I may as well call." Chris Ferguson
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• After taking a beat: "How bad do they play?...This is the World Series of Poker!" -Phil Hellmuth Jr.
• "If the flop don't fit, you must aquit" -Matt Thornton, Dayton, Ohio
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)