10 Random Poker Quotes

• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• "If you want to know what lies on the road ahead, ask the man whos on the way back" anon
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• If you could lose all of your money again... what would you have done differently?
• See AA before the flop is like a smile from the girl of your dreams, see AA lose to a pour hand on the river feels like the same chick just gave you a bad case of blue balls