10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Ive always like the quote, "Who needs balls when you got the nuts!!!"
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Normally, I wouldn't have called you, but you've been running bad!
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• Poker - love the pain or play checkers. - MoeSyzslak
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• You know that you've seen a lot of poker when three people are all in before the flop, two of them turn over aces and the other turns over kings, and the king hits on the river, and you say, "I've seen that before, and ...."