10 Random Poker Quotes

• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• Seldom do the lambs slaughter the butcher. -Amarillo Slim
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• the perfect poker player deploys his masterful execution of logic and then litters it with chaotic sequences of lunacy.
• "I already messed this hand up pretty good, so I may as well call." Chris Ferguson
• The all-in play works everytime but once.
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• The next best thing to playing poker and winning, is playing poker and losing.