10 Random Poker Quotes

• "No river, no fish."
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• "I already messed this hand up pretty good, so I may as well call." Chris Ferguson
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• "You will show your poker greatness by the hands you fold, not the hands you play." -Dan Reed
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• never rub another mans rhubarb, unless he has the nuts - Jack Nicholson
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• when i folded an A-7 suited under the gun which would've ended up giving me the small end of a mini jackpot, my dad said, "yeah, if i would've driven to Tucson, I would've found that diamond ring. But i don't drive to Tucson."