10 Random Poker Quotes

• "you either live by the river or die by the river" why do i always seem to die
• ''when i bet i either have nuts or balls.''FRAN PINCHOT
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus