10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• "Hooks (pair of Jacks) are for Fish. You've got to flop 'em, fold 'em, or fornicate 'em." Johnnie Moss
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• With all the new poker players I cant play holdem with a pair of gloves
• Trying to find the odds (not percentage) for this hand. One person has JJ the other 1010. On the flop is J 10 10, what are the odds of this happening?
• "I want him to think that I am pondering a call, but all I'm really thinkin about it Vegas and the fuckin' Mirage." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• you cannot have everything....where would you put it. (steven wright)