10 Random Poker Quotes

• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus
• When you're drawing dead, you always get there.
• If there was no luck involved I'd win every time. - Phil Hellmuth
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• Never educate a stupid poker player.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott, "Rounders"
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)