10 Random Poker Quotes

• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• "Poker is 100% skill, 50% luck" - Phil Hellmuth
• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• "Hold em is to stud what chess is to checkers." -- Johnny Moss
• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• Liquor up front, poker in the rear
• Life is a gamble at terrible odds if it was a bet you would never take it