10 Random Poker Quotes

• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• Sex is good, but poker lasts longer.
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.