10 Random Poker Quotes

• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• "In the Poker Game of Life women are the rake, they are the ______ rake." -Worm
• "All-in, bitches!!!"
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• Seldom do the lambs slaughter the butcher. -Amarillo Slim
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• Most of these quotes are abysmal and submitted by the sort of idiots who fill the partypoker chatbox with words like 'phuktard'
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.