10 Random Poker Quotes

• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• Great poker players are separated from good poker players not by how they win their hands, but how they lose them.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "Give me running 10's boy!!" Mike Laing - after CALLING 78K with 10-8 on a board of K22
• After taking a beat: "How bad do they play?...This is the World Series of Poker!" -Phil Hellmuth Jr.
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.