10 Random Poker Quotes

• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• With all the new poker players I cant play holdem with a pair of gloves
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• Fish don't eat Nutz!
• I'm a better poker player than I am a player. -RedGrant
• A pair of Aces with a low kicker is like a chick without nipples... -doyle brunson, circa 1986
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"