10 Random Poker Quotes

• "No river, no fish."
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• "What's the sound of shuffling a single card?" - tidytom
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• Where's the buffet? -Doyle Brunson
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• "You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em." -Kenny Rogers
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!