10 Random Poker Quotes

• With all the new poker players I cant play holdem with a pair of gloves
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• Why not, when some because there are three.
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• "No river, no fish."
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• Poker is for fat, American losers.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.