10 Random Poker Quotes

• "you either live by the river or die by the river" why do i always seem to die
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• what is a river if there is no river to draw to water
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-
• If you cant spot the fish in the first ten minutes, you are the fish.
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.