10 Random Poker Quotes

• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• The best thing about that hand was I wasn't in it
• The only thing you lose by folding is the opportunity to win.
• "In the Poker Game of Life women are the rake, they are the ______ rake." -Worm
• Welcome to kicker school
• Overhead at a ring game during a tournament when people where discussing there bad beat knock outs etc "Ya I got knocked out of both tournies the same way....I got caught Bluffing"
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.