10 Random Poker Quotes

• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• Sex is good, but poker lasts longer.
• Some days you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue.
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• "Never say 'Whoa' to a mud puddle" -- Anonymous $4-to-go NL A-5 Lowball Table, Cameo Club Palo Alto CA, 1977
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.