10 Random Poker Quotes

• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"
• "If i dont make that final table, nobody's gonna remember me next year. If i do make that final table, Im a poker legend overnight" - Dutch Boyd 2003 WSOP Main Event
• "The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!" by flintsword
• Poker is like a horse, five letters, two vowels
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• Poker is for loners.
• Where's the buffet? -Doyle Brunson
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen