10 Random Poker Quotes

• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• in the poker game of life women are the rake
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus
• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.