10 Random Poker Quotes

• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• Never educate a stupid poker player.
• never rub another mans rhubarb, unless he has the nuts - Jack Nicholson
• Sometimes doing the right thing loses you money and the wrong thing gains you money. The trick is figuring the right time to do the wrong thing and the wrong time to do the right thing.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus