10 Random Poker Quotes

• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• Overhead at a ring game during a tournament when people where discussing there bad beat knock outs etc "Ya I got knocked out of both tournies the same way....I got caught Bluffing"
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• The all-in play works everytime but once.
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• "It's hard work. Gambling. Playing poker. Don't let anyone tell you different. Think about what it's like sitting at a poker table with people whose only goal is to cut your throat, take your money, and leave you out back talking to yourself about what went wrong inside. That probably sounds harsh. But that's the way it is at the poker table. If you don't believe me, then you're the lamb that's going off to the slaughter." Stu Unger, three-time WSOP Champion
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.