10 Random Poker Quotes

• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• "In low limit hold em' deception plays a less significant role. Either someone is already looking at that hand or will call out of curiousity." ---Lee Jones
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.
• If luck wasn't a factor, I'd win every one. -Phil Hellmuth
• What did the pocket 3's say to the pocket 2's? Your a dead duck.