10 Random Poker Quotes

• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• If luck wasn't a factor, I'd win every one. -Phil Hellmuth
• I have two small pair.....8's and 8's.
• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• "If the flop don't fit, you must aquit" -Matt Thornton, Dayton, Ohio
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.