10 Random Poker Quotes

• "You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em." -Kenny Rogers
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• "Poker is just like the fucking universe man, the different combinations and outs are infinite so it's pointless racking your mind about bad beats and shit" Stephen Morris
• if u play for the thrill u are ill
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• Sometimes doing the right thing loses you money and the wrong thing gains you money. The trick is figuring the right time to do the wrong thing and the wrong time to do the right thing.