10 Random Poker Quotes

• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• If you play 69, always bet on the come.
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• The only way to win is to play. Unfortunetly, it is also the only way to loose.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• "I want him to think that I am pondering a call, but all I'm really thinkin about it Vegas and the fuckin' Mirage." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)