10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• "Hooks (pair of Jacks) are for Fish. You've got to flop 'em, fold 'em, or fornicate 'em." Johnnie Moss
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• If there was no luck involved I'd win every time. - Phil Hellmuth
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• you cannot have everything....where would you put it. (steven wright)
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.