10 Random Poker Quotes

• Life is a gamble at terrible odds if it was a bet you would never take it
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• The next best thing to playing poker and winning, is playing poker and losing.
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• If you cant spot the fish in the first ten minutes, you are the fish.