10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."
• "Just play every hand, you can't miss them all." -Sammy Farha's reply to, "How does he do it?"
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• ''when i bet i either have nuts or balls.''FRAN PINCHOT
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Any two cards can lose... and they usually do.