10 Random Poker Quotes

• I'm too good for you, you might as well flip those 2 cards over.
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus
• Most of these quotes are abysmal and submitted by the sort of idiots who fill the partypoker chatbox with words like 'phuktard'
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Poker is like a horse, five letters, two vowels
• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."