10 Random Poker Quotes

• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.
• What did the pocket 3's say to the pocket 2's? Your a dead duck.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• Some people ask "what could they possibly call me with" before making a bet. I don't ask that question. I just make the bet and let them supply the answer. - Action Bob
• Remember these three simple words and you'll never go broke........ "Stick em Up!"
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus