10 Random Poker Quotes

• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• When you're drawing dead, you always get there.
• Seldom do the lambs slaughter the butcher. -Amarillo Slim
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• in the poker game of life women are the rake
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Poker is for fat, American losers.