10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is for fat, American losers.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• "Hooks (pair of Jacks) are for Fish. You've got to flop 'em, fold 'em, or fornicate 'em." Johnnie Moss
• No Limit Hold'em - Hours of boredom followed by moments of sheer terror.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• this hand sucked me in like an eagle in a jet engine
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.