10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• Sex is good, but poker lasts longer.
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• "If the flop don't fit, you must aquit" -Matt Thornton, Dayton, Ohio
• Where's the buffet? -Doyle Brunson
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers