10 Random Poker Quotes

• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• What did the pocket 3's say to the pocket 2's? Your a dead duck.
• "In low limit hold em' deception plays a less significant role. Either someone is already looking at that hand or will call out of curiousity." ---Lee Jones
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• Most of these quotes are abysmal and submitted by the sort of idiots who fill the partypoker chatbox with words like 'phuktard'