10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• Concentrate. Don't do anything stupid. Catch some cards. ----Mrs. Cloutier, as TJ heads out to another tournament
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "What's the sound of shuffling a single card?" - tidytom
• I don't want to be called a good loser. A good loser is still a loser. -Stu Unger
• Nobody would play the game if the best hand always won. -Will Schwarz
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Playing poker for play money is like going to a strip club for the food. -UncleWaldo
• "I want him to think that I am pondering a call, but all I'm really thinkin about it Vegas and the fuckin' Mirage." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• I guess if luck wasn't involved, i'd win every tournament -Phil Helmuth