10 Random Poker Quotes

• See AA before the flop is like a smile from the girl of your dreams, see AA lose to a pour hand on the river feels like the same chick just gave you a bad case of blue balls
• "The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent." -- David Mamet
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• If you cant spot the fish in the first ten minutes, you are the fish.
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• some call cheating immoral, but then again, it's immoral to let a sucker keep his money.
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."