10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• When you're drawing dead, you always get there.
• "I want him to think that I am pondering a call, but all I'm really thinkin about it Vegas and the fuckin' Mirage." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• No Limit Hold'em - Hours of boredom followed by moments of sheer terror.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• this hand sucked me in like an eagle in a jet engine
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• I'm a better poker player than I am a player. -RedGrant