10 Random Poker Quotes

• Welcome to kicker school
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• A pair of Aces with a low kicker is like a chick without nipples... -doyle brunson, circa 1986
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• "Not all trappers wear 'coon-skin hats."
• Remember these three simple words and you'll never go broke........ "Stick em Up!"
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."