10 Random Poker Quotes

• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• You should pay as much as possible for a free card.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."