10 Random Poker Quotes

• People who play poker should also try playing with sock puppets, or, in a more casual event, training ferrets. I hope this pleases fellow pokerites like it pleases me, daily. WOW im wet.
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• Poker is for fat, American losers.
• Nobody knows where the hobo goes when it snows.
• "I could make a crazy call on you..." Sammy Farhah to Chris Moneymaker at the final table when Moneymaker went all in.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.