10 Random Poker Quotes

• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• What did the pocket 3's say to the pocket 2's? Your a dead duck.
• After taking a beat: "How bad do they play?...This is the World Series of Poker!" -Phil Hellmuth Jr.
• "The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent." -- David Mamet
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• "I want him to think that I am pondering a call, but all I'm really thinkin about it Vegas and the fuckin' Mirage." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• "I guess if there weren't luck involved, I'd win every time." -Phil Hellmuth
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• If there was no luck involved I'd win every time. - Phil Hellmuth