10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Hooks (pair of Jacks) are for Fish. You've got to flop 'em, fold 'em, or fornicate 'em." Johnnie Moss
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• "The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!" by flintsword
• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• I'm enough of a dreamer to realize it might have been that elusive something a gambler calls luck. But, I'm also enough of a realist to know that in general we make our own luck - through knowledge, skill and experience.- Doyle Brunson
• Poker is like a horse, five letters, two vowels
• "I guess if there weren't luck involved, I'd win every time." -Phil Hellmuth